The Soused & her ocular aberration.

[time check: 3.31 am]
[mood : ]
[ song : Dallas Green - Day Old Hate ]


the early mornin' cravings/wishlist.

1.cookies and cream/choco milkshake
2.Bravissmo's rocher gelato
3.to run in the rain.
4.baby's onigiris.
5.baby's soba
6. ben & jerry's cookie nut dough
7. prata house's beehoon goreng.
8.to sleep.
9. to do 3 cartwheels.
10.cold mornin' shower.
11.to walk on the mrt tracks at 3.55am
12. happy agar gar.
13. Ban-mian.
14. sherie gun.
15. a drive along nicholl highway.
16.my pre menstrual aid relief.
17. a butterfly tattoo on my bum.
18. to be back in san francisco.
19. a good talk with mr.god


The days have been really good with theboy. it's amazing how we can always talk about anything under the sun, how we can bitch till the cows come home, how we grow on each other, and yet not compromise on our own value systems. i like how theboy gets protective of me, how he will always be the one who's smiling back at me when i wake up and how he always makes me laugh over the silliest things. i just cant ask for more. (:

But im guilty, guilty as charged. Yes, i am guilty of being overwrought by those myriad and unfounded fears . It isnt one of those silly , callow insecurities perse? It's something more intangible and inexplicable ,since there are absolutely no grounds for the justification of those fears . At the very least, i am certain that it doesnt just stem from the fear of losing someone i love .

Okaye, so yes, i dont like this girl that theboy used to date. she just irritates the daylights out of me. Initially, i was just disgusted by what she did ( and still does ) ,but as time passed, this disgust fuelled by my own prejudice, grew to this strong dislike that consumed me bit by bit despite knowing that she was a nobody to theboy and how he thought it was ludicrious that i would even think she's worthy enough to be in the same league for comparison. yes, i dont like her very much.

i despise how she exploits the propensity of human empathy with her suicide attempts to goad for attention. i abhor how superficiality is painted all over,like second skin to her body.i am sickened by that intrinsic ability of hers to be oblivious to the guilt of a human conscience, to manipulate men as how a puppeteer will propogate the most bewildering enigma for his mindless stick dolls.

Anyhow, 'That thing' used to keep me up all night till i realised it's not 'her' that had been bothering me all along,but it's the whole notion of me so jaundiced by my own bias that really disturbed me.


i dont like how i am looking through those tainted glass shards. they will only blind me.like now.