i wish i can just die now.
i just want to stab both my thighs with a fruit knife.


all i want is for it to come back.


+++++++++++++++++++


tokens of love are irreplacable. Those replicas are never intend to supersede the originals. i am not buying them for the sake of them being ,diamonds, a materialistic desire.yes, i may be blinded from the realism of this whole fact that i may be wasting even more money , may even be self-deluding that with them, i can find peace again.

But to me, i am just buying back the sentimentalism.Buying a self worth to know that i am still as deserving as i was before to possess their love .

im now $700 poorer . But so much more richer, knowing how much the people around care for me.


thank you
1.mr god, for making me realise how i need to go back to his light and road.
2. my mum who secretly wanted to surprise me with replacments
3.myboy for all the times he comforted me and spoke sense to me and the extent he would go to make me smile again.
4. Uncle Rod for offering a listening ear and offering to look for them and pawnshops with me.
5.Rightie for offering to look for them with me and comforting me.
6. Yvonne for helping me to get 50% off those diamonds.


i love you all,esp. mr god,mum and sal.


+++++++++++++++++++++

for all the times, you love me with ways more than i thought i can ever deserve.
for every moment that i know you will catch my fall and make me smile again.

for every single day that i fall in love all over again ,with you.
i love you.